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:: mánudagur, september 27, 2004 ::

Son of a Bitch
A Jesuit priest is out fishing one day with a parks and rec guide. The priest reels in a whopper, and the guide exclaims "Whoa, that's one big son of a bitch!!" The priest is appalled by his guide's choice of words, and replies "Excuse me sir, but can't you see that I am a man of the cloth?" The guide says, "Oh I'm sorry Father, but you don't understand. That particular type of fish is called a Son of a Bitch. It's a Son of a Bitch fish."

The priest goes "Oh! Forgive me for my ignorance" and he returns to the monastery with this fish. He walks over to a monk and says "Hey Friar check out this son of a bitch!!" The monk is incredulous and says "I beg your pardon Father, but you should not use language like that in the House of the Lord!" The priest says "no, it's actually called a son of a bitch fish."

The monk replies "Oh, well let me skin and debone that for you so we can have it tonight, the Pope is coming for dinner." He's in the kitchen cleaning the fish when a nun walks in. "Hey Sister, the Pope is coming over tonight, would you mean cooking up this huge son of a bitch for me?" The nun replies "I cannot believe you are using that language!" So the monk says "no, it's actually called a son of a bitch fish." The nun feels a little embarassed for her ignorance and agrees to cook up the fish with the best spices she can find. That evening, they are all eating with the Pope. The priest looks to the Pope and says "You know, I caught this son of a bitch."

The monk says "I cleaned the son of a bitch." And the nun says "And I cooked the son of a bitch." The room falls silent. The Pope slowly looks from one person to the other a look of surprise on his face. Then, his faces curls into a huge grin, and he says "Hey, you fuckers are all right."

Stuck
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.

She was thrilled at the speed.

"If I do 200 mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.

"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.

And as he gets up to 200, she peels off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.

The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried.

"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"

"Take my shoe," he said, "and cover yourself."

Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do....he's in too far!"

Dog with no Legs
What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter....he wont come.

Stop the Dog
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck its dick.

E.T.
What is E.T. short for?

Because he has little legs.

:: geimVEIRA:: kl. 02:20:: [+] ::
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